Jasmine’s Abortion Story
When I had my abortion, I was 22 years old and I was terrified. It was honestly something that I never thought too much about because I had been on birth control since I was 14. My mother worked as a receptionist for Kaiser in the OBGYN department. So, she was very aware of the realities of teen pregnancies. It was something she saw every day. My mother was a Catholic woman, and struggled with this for a while. It was hard for her but she decided to put my sister and I on birth control. At the time my sister was about 18 years old, I believe, and I was 14. I was a freshman and she was a senior in high school. As a freshman, I had was in a relationship but I wasn’t sexually active yet. So, I wasn’t taking the birth control to prevent pregnancy, it was for the benefit of regulating my period and helping with my acne. But when I did choose to be sexually active, I knew I could confide in my mother. She was always very informed, and I thank her for that.
Throughout the years, I had always changed my birth control. I tried everything from the pill, to the Nuva Ring, to the implant, and the IUD. The IUD had caused me to have some bad side effects because of the hormones, my body had reacted horribly to them. So, I had decided to take it out. My OBGYN had prescribed me the pill again. But at the time, I had just gotten out of a long term relationship, I wanted all the extra hormones to leave my body, and so I was in no rush to get birth control. About a week later, my ex and I got back together but I still wasn’t on birth control.
A little over a month later, I found out I was pregnant and I was consumed by sadness and fear. These are two emotions that one should never feel when they find out that they are pregnant. So, I knew right away that I was not ready. I began to think of my school, my goals, and my plans. I was not ready for this. But at the same time, I felt selfish and wrong too. I wrestled with these two contradicting ideas for so long, but I knew I had to make a decision. I decided that I was going to get an abortion. So, I went to my mother, who again as a catholic woman, found it difficult to accept my decision. But at the end of the day, she supported my decision. Now I had to tell my partner at the time. He, unlike me, was ecstatic. The first thing he said to me was, “We’ll be great parents.” This ripped me up inside. I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. But I told him that I was not ready and I wanted to get an abortion. That is when the battle began and we were both fighting on opposite ends. He fought his hardest to change my mind, and I tried my hardest to change his. This was one of the toughest times I have ever experienced.
I grew weary and tired of the fighting, and I knew that I was running out of time. So I made the decision to have an abortion and I set the date. On that day, my partner said that he respected any decision that I made. But he did not go that day, and I don’t think he ever truly forgave me. But my mother accompanied me that day. She held my trembling hand as I signed the papers, sat there, waited, and cried. It truly is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. And it did not come easy to me. But I do not regret them.
